Where is Itachi when you need him?
by Lucia-Theresa Horizon
Summary: [Drabbles] There are moments in Sasuke's life that make people wonder just where the hell Itachi is when they need him.
1. Fugaku & Mikoto Uchiha

**1. Fugaku & Mikoto**

Somebody has said something about second children. And that _something_ happens to be, they tend to cry and scream and ask for trouble much, much more than their older siblings.

Itachi was a rather tranquil and obedient child, so Fugaku and Mikoto thought Sasuke would be the same. But as tearful shrieks shred through their sleep at night in courtesy of their two-month old second son, they realize (not for the first time) how sadly mistaken they were. Countless lullabies and a milk bottle later, Sasuke still doesn't calm down and keeps bailing like there is no tomorrow.

Mikoto briefly considers waking Itachi up – if he hasn't already – to go sooth his brother down (she could never understand why the sight of Itachi always manages to shut Sasuke right up and bring a cute little smile onto his rosy lips), but then remembers her oldest son has gone to his cousin Shisui's that night for a sleepover.

It doesn't help that Fugaku, with his bad temper and limited patience, decides to give up and lets her handle the rest.

Mikoto groans in frustration. Where is Itachi when she needs him?


	2. Shisui Uchiha

**2. Shisui**

With such an epic (and long as hell) history between him and Itachi, Shisui is pretty damn sure this isn't the first time Itachi has asked him to babysit Sasuke. Actually, he has lost count after the tenth time. Don't get him wrong – he loves them both (or maybe he only loves Itachi and Sasuke just happens to go with the package, because _everybody_ knows how attached those two are. Go figure.) But that doesn't make the task any easier.

Sasuke is three years old now. Shisui still remembers Itachi at that age (and he loves teasing the younger boy about his old cuddling habits. Yeah, those were the days. _Sigh._ And Itachi used to be _soooo_ cute, too.) Therefore, he has enough solid evidence to safely conclude that Sasuke is _nothing_ like his brother, besides the looks.

Itachi used to be – and still is – a quiet child. He doesn't like people fussing over him. Whenever he needed something, all he did was tucking his parents' – or Shisui's – sleeves, and pointing at whatever he wanted. He rarely cries and rarely laughs; he only has this little smile that can be considered charming if you squint _really_ hard. Shisui never had any trouble babysitting Itachi for aunt Mikoto – in fact, he enjoyed those moments tremendously.

Now what did he say about Itachi and Sasuke being _ridiculously_ different?

Unlike his older brother, Sasuke is more sociable and loves having people around. The boy practically savors the attention and stops at nothing – absolutely _nothing_ – to get it. Even if he has to cry like a banshee… or plays pranks on the adults. Not that Shisui is an adult – not yet – but to little Sasuke, he is one. Thus, he becomes a big, delicious target for those pranks.

Shisui is currently chasing Sasuke around the house while bubbles fly in every direction. He should never have let the boy stay in the bathroom for long. Every damn time the boy stays inside a particular room for more than ten minutes, there ought to be mischief. _Every damn time._ He should've learnt his lesson by now, seriously. One of these days he will snap and knock Sasuke unconscious before handing his ass back to the loving hands of his own aniki. Fugaku wouldn't appreciate that, but come_ on_. Even that stoic man has to know how much of a handful his second son is.

As he desperately tries to scrub the floor clean after making Sasuke take an early nap, Shisui wonders just where Itachi is when he needs him.


	3. Orochimaru

And, yeah. I suddenly had an urge to write Orochimaru so here it goes. I'm not going to follow the timeline – inspirations don't come easy, after all. Maybe next time I'm going to write Iruka or Kakashi. Have fun!

.

.

**3. Orochimaru**

When Sasuke comes to him, the Snake Sannin has been ecstatic. The thirteen-year-old boy is brilliant (a bit too stubborn and disrespectful for his taste, too, but that's okay); he absorbs jutsus after jutsus like a sponge and keeps getting stronger each day. Orochimaru can't help but grin every time his proud student manages to conquer a new technique, or kills a target with deadly strikes. Soon enough, that perfect body and those blood red eyes will be his, and when the time comes, he will take over the whole world.

However, the Sannin has made a fatal mistake of not taking the boy's tender age into consideration.

As promising as he is, Sasuke is still just a child turning into teenager. Ah, that heavenly rebellious phase. Orochimaru has completely forgotten the fact that Sasuke needs someone to give him "the talk" so that he can get through puberty… without too much trouble threatening to hinder his healthy growth.

So when Sasuke finally gets over his embarrassment and decides to ask his mentor about his body's strange reactions to… certain images (damn Kabuto for littering the whole basement with his X-rated magazines), and the dirty dreams, and the horror of stained sheets and ruined boxers in the morning… Orochimaru is promptly rendered speechless. He can only gape at the boy before him, opening and closing his mouth repetitively like a fish, his mind racing through the hazy memories of Sarutobi-sensei attempting _(attempting; whether he succeeded or not was an entirely different matter)_ to make his genin team understand the concept of puberty and the likes but apparently unable to grasp anything valuable. He is more than fifty now, for God's sake! How is he supposed to remember such events from all those years ago?!

And if he doesn't grace Sasuke's queries with a clear and correct response, the boy will think even he – the legendary Snake Sannin - doesn't know the answer to everything. Now that is dangerous – he can't lose the Uchiha prodigy after spending so much time and effort on him.

Ten minutes later, Sasuke has mostly run out of patience, and Orochimaru still can't find a way to reply.

_I'm so going to kill that older brother of his nice and slow_, the Sannin mentally whines while murdering Itachi over and over again in his head. _**He**__ should be the one doing this, not me!_

Seriously, where the fuck is that weasel when he needs him?!


End file.
